Artwyrd - Jewellery and other art for sale and commission.
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Gosh ... it's Thursday already!

I came home this evening feeling weird, well weirder than usual. I'd had a headache all day that started to lift after some cocodamol tablets, and I was left all drifty and weird. So ... I thought I'd go and have a lie down for an hour and doze it off.

The phone rang 4 times ... wrong number, a friends mum telling me she's sold some of my jewellery and has a commission for a piece too, another wrong number, and then the person who organises the class I go to on a Thursday evening rang to tell me that it was best if I didn't go as it was a course night for them (I'm not doing the same course ...), so all I did was read a book.

And I lost myself in the book and the time went. What book is it? Twilight. And I'm surprised at how engrossed i've been in the tale ... It wouldn't be something I'd normally read, but I was drawn to it in WHSMiths and well ...

It makes a bit of change from quantum physics and spirituality!

I've not had that much time this week to do much art ... and I suspect the quiet time in bed with a book has been very much needed. I'm going to go back to bed very soon with the aforementioned book and do my best to get an early nights sleep ... and a long and good nights sleep.

Hang on, I will ahve a good, restful nights sleep tonight and I will wake refreshed and revitalised in the morning. And I will send out thoughts of thanks for the sleep too.

That's better. That's now a positive statement *nods*

I'm finding that taking a positive attitude towards things, and turning things around to a positive outcome, and willing things into my world is working And it seems the counselling is too. In fact, my counsellor asked if we'd come to the end yesterday ... I said I'd have to think about it, and well ... I'm still not sure! But I' know I'll have worked it out next week. All I know is that I'm almost always happy, other peoples bad attitudes and rubbish isn't sticking (or if it does, it doesn't stay stuck for long), I've not been to a dark place for a while, and when I did I pulled myself out of it quite quickly. I have strategies for shifting my mood, I've found I can meditate in work in break/lunchtime/preparation time if I need to to clear away the rubbish, I find myself observing my reactions to situations and assessing them and working out how I need to alter them (to unlearn what I have learned from others and to learn what is now right for me, what is my truth I suppose) ... and well my confidence, esteem and self-love, and perfect weight, will come along in time ... I'm just worried that if my safety net goes I'll crash too far down, or I won't keep checking in on myself .. but I suspect it won't be long until I won't need that safety net.

With my attitude changing, things have changed in other ways. Not major, earth shattering change, but just change, movement, progress ... my jewellery is being sold, I've had people suggest I open a print account here, the talks that I give seem to be growing stronger, I'm more comfortable in myself, and in the past couple of days my eating has been more under control and that's without me making an effort, it's just happening. I seem to smile a lot more, and laugh more readily, and my mind is sharp and quick as is my wit.

I think a lot of things have suddenly converged resulting in a lot of pennies dropping in quick succession. Quantum stuff, spirituality, my dad passing and all the experiences and understanding that brought with it, the way my mother has treated me since, just loads of bits and pieces ...

... and with them the realisation that my friend and mentor has been trying his best to get me to do these things for a long time, and I've resisted or not understood why ... but he laid a fantastic foundation for me, has given me the tools to use even if I couldn't use them at the time or couldn't see how they'd benefit me, and now ... well ...

So it's been a crazy, wonderful time in it's own way.